Eighteen years ago today, I was given another chance at life. For this I will be forever thankful!
My chances were slim to almost none. There was only one hospital in Canada that would even consider doing a transplant under these circumstances, and there was no room at the University of Alberta Hospital in the liver transplant department. When the Liver specialist in Saskatoon determined that my only chance to live was to send me, he did. As someone in intensive care, they had to accept me. The first loophole was met.
In Edmonton, each of my family was interviewed one at a time, and the experts determined that I had been a good Mom, deserving of another chance. Another giant step; I was put on the list at #1 in Canada in need of a liver. My husband was given the facts; I had at most two days to live. Furthermore, even if I received a healthy liver in time, I was given only a 50% chance of survival.
But there were people praying, thousands of them. The word spread like wildfire through churches, through the Capenwray Bible School our daughter had attended in England, through the ministry my friend Mary worked for. Our home church was even praying 24 hours a day for me! Dear friends were taking turns throughout the days and nights to make sure I was always covered in prayer.
After just 4 hours of being on the list for a liver, a perfect liver was found in Quebec. What a miracle!
There was so much rejoicing for this answer to prayer. I will forever be grateful to the person and her family who made this liver available for transplant. It has been such a good match, that I have experienced no rejection in these 18 years. This day is a day of celebration and thanksgiving.
Two things to highlight. A priceless gift to give is our organs when we die. It is wonderful to think that when we die, our organs could allow many others to continue to live. What a precious blessing.
Another thing I want to draw attention to is mental illness. I almost died because I was experiencing an extreme low time and hadn’t been diagnosed yet with bipolar disorder. Furthermore, I was on the wrong medication, which made things much worse. Don’t be afraid to go for help. Get involved in a support group. I plan to begin one soon in Wainwright. Please call or text me if you are interested in being a part of our group. There is no cost involved. We welcome anyone who is suffering with a mental illness. My number is 780-887-5647.
Sunday, 16 February 2020
Wednesday, 12 February 2020
Feb 12th, a Dark Anniversary
If I knew then what I know today.....
... I would have gone to the Emergency.
... Or gone to talk to a close friend.
... I would have told my husband what I was going through, instead of trying to protect him.
... Or gone to my church to talk to our pastor, who would have taken me to emergency.
... I would know that this was temporary, that life would become tolerable again.
... If I had belonged to a mental health support group, there would be someone to listen.
But none of these scenarios happened. Instead, I went to a funeral. After 6 weeks of suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, and almost no sleep, all I could think of was I wanted to be her. At the front of the church, in a casket, without thoughts, at peace, in heaven. I wanted the pain and the bad thoughts gone. My family would be happier, better off without me, I reasoned. Actually, I didn't reason, as my mind wasn't functioning properly.
Following the funeral, I drove straight to the pharmacy, and being Valentine's Day was just two days away, I carefully bought four. One for Ed, Jenna, Michael and Breanna. I also picked up a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol and drove home.
On each of the Valentines I wrote what a wonderful person each of them was, then placed each card on that person's pillow. Then I got back in my vehicle and drove past the Meadow Lake Pulp Mill where my husband was the manager. The reason I hadn't shared with him how bad my depression was, because he had recently laid off 28 workers, many of them our personal friends. He had also been taking classes to earn his MBA while he managed the pulp mill. In the midst of this stressful time, his Dad passed away. I felt I couldn't add to his stress, so I kept quiet. Part of my problem was being on the wrong medication, but I didn't realize there were other options.
So there I sat on an abandoned road, feeling completely empty. I began counting as I ingested the Extra Strength Tylenol. I counted to 50 and waited. Several minutes passed.
Thankfully, I was reminded that my daughter Breanna had asked for a ride home from school, so I drove back to Meadow Lake. I still felt OK, so I made supper and then became sick. Ed went to the church council meeting, never dreaming what was happening to me. By morning, when Ed checked on me, my liver was already too far gone. Panic stricken, Ed gathered me up in his arms and rushed me to the hospital.
This is what happened 18 years ago today. My book, "Rescue from Darkness" tells the whole story. The reason I am sharing is to help prevent others from taking their lives. There is help available. Don't stay in a dark place alone. I would love to show you support and many others would as well.
I needed more education about mental illness, and support. Hopefully, there will soon be a mental health support group in Wainwright. Please let me know if you are interested in attending. There is no cost involved. By the grace of God, the prayers of many, and wonderful health care I am alive. I am so thankful that my family did not have to endure the pain of losing me through suicide.
My phone number is 780-887-5647 if you need to talk to someone.
... I would have gone to the Emergency.
... Or gone to talk to a close friend.
... I would have told my husband what I was going through, instead of trying to protect him.
... Or gone to my church to talk to our pastor, who would have taken me to emergency.
... I would know that this was temporary, that life would become tolerable again.
... If I had belonged to a mental health support group, there would be someone to listen.
But none of these scenarios happened. Instead, I went to a funeral. After 6 weeks of suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, and almost no sleep, all I could think of was I wanted to be her. At the front of the church, in a casket, without thoughts, at peace, in heaven. I wanted the pain and the bad thoughts gone. My family would be happier, better off without me, I reasoned. Actually, I didn't reason, as my mind wasn't functioning properly.
Following the funeral, I drove straight to the pharmacy, and being Valentine's Day was just two days away, I carefully bought four. One for Ed, Jenna, Michael and Breanna. I also picked up a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol and drove home.
On each of the Valentines I wrote what a wonderful person each of them was, then placed each card on that person's pillow. Then I got back in my vehicle and drove past the Meadow Lake Pulp Mill where my husband was the manager. The reason I hadn't shared with him how bad my depression was, because he had recently laid off 28 workers, many of them our personal friends. He had also been taking classes to earn his MBA while he managed the pulp mill. In the midst of this stressful time, his Dad passed away. I felt I couldn't add to his stress, so I kept quiet. Part of my problem was being on the wrong medication, but I didn't realize there were other options.
So there I sat on an abandoned road, feeling completely empty. I began counting as I ingested the Extra Strength Tylenol. I counted to 50 and waited. Several minutes passed.
Thankfully, I was reminded that my daughter Breanna had asked for a ride home from school, so I drove back to Meadow Lake. I still felt OK, so I made supper and then became sick. Ed went to the church council meeting, never dreaming what was happening to me. By morning, when Ed checked on me, my liver was already too far gone. Panic stricken, Ed gathered me up in his arms and rushed me to the hospital.
This is what happened 18 years ago today. My book, "Rescue from Darkness" tells the whole story. The reason I am sharing is to help prevent others from taking their lives. There is help available. Don't stay in a dark place alone. I would love to show you support and many others would as well.
I needed more education about mental illness, and support. Hopefully, there will soon be a mental health support group in Wainwright. Please let me know if you are interested in attending. There is no cost involved. By the grace of God, the prayers of many, and wonderful health care I am alive. I am so thankful that my family did not have to endure the pain of losing me through suicide.
My phone number is 780-887-5647 if you need to talk to someone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)